


These Are The Shepards

by literamancy



Series: Twin AU [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Mass Effect AU, Sibling AU, Twin AU, fShakarian, fshenko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-10 13:58:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3292943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literamancy/pseuds/literamancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eden Shepard has joined her sister Adila aboard the SSV-Normandy. Both have gone through Alliance training, however Adila's adventures took her to becoming the first human Spectre. After witnessing the attack on the Citadel, Eden insisted on being transferred because if there is anything the Shepard twins do it is together.<br/>This is Mass Effect. But with twins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Biotic Attack

Eden felt the telltale signs of losing control of her biotics. Her fingers were going numb, though at the moment they were still at the tingling stage. She zoned out, no longer paying attention to the Batarian that was slapping her, repeatedly, across the face. She focused on her fingers, and the fact that she was slowly losing feeling in them.  _Slow breaths, breathe slow Eden_ , Adila’s voice echoed in her head.  _You are okay. What you feel is rage, and rage is control. It will control you, or you will control it. Control it Eden._

Her hands were numb now. Her mind’s eye view of her twin was slipping, and she could no longer hear Adila’s voice above the roaring that was filling her head. Her breaths were coming in sharp, strangled gasps and RAGE was coursing through her veins, hot and hard and feeling like acid. Adila wasn’t there. There was no one to grab her face, make her look at them, and push the rage out of her body. No. She was on a Batarian ship in the middle of empty space. The only thing keeping her from the cold vacuum of the cosmos was a thin wall of metal. Metal that could, and most likely would, be shredded under her blue lined hands.

The Batarian drew his hand back and started it on the downward swing. She lifted her head.

The Batarian went flying back, ripping through what was no longer a door. The chains and cuffs that had held her hands just melted under the heat of her will. She stepped, no she floated, into the hall. Bullets came at her, stopped in their tracks, and flew back at those that had originally shot them. She smiled. Rage felt good, rage felt so deliciously like power. When was the last time she had done this? The Blitz? Adila had pulled her back to the limiting state of semi-calm before their support came, but Adila was not here now and RAGE sung in her veins. Eden wondered, idly, just for a second, what would happen if she caved in the skull of the Batarian charging her. She flexed her hand and found out. Disappointing, no resistance. She wanted resistance. She slices her arm in a downward motion and three walls caved in. Better, but not enough. She floated on, looking for more things to crush with her limitless power.

Everything that got in her way was destroyed, without hesitation, without mercy. Fire started behind her, and things exploded but shrapnel bounced off the force field with literally no effect to her. She came to a door three times her height and probably twice her width in thickness. She made a pulling motion with her hand and they came crashing down around her. She burnt a hole through the metal where it threatened to fall on her. She was distracted, for a moment, by the lovely symmetry the destruction of the doors had caused.

A bullet hit her shield before her face and she was brought sharply back into attention. She lifted a hand to crush her assailant because how dare they even think they could hurt her when she was cloaked with such powerful rage. But she met with resistance. An opposing force was keeping her from crushing the shaky old man that held a gun that was barely able to be called that. A tall man, holding a hand out that had a biotic glow to it, side stepped to the old man. He made him lower the gun, and then pushed him behind himself. As soon as the old man was out of sight, he was out of mind. Here, HERE, was a challenger, something to pit her power against, to DESTROY, to give herself meaning against. She increased her will against this challenger, just a little, and was pleased when his shield held against her own.  _Yes, fight me little man_ , she thought savagely,  _fight me and I will end you because I am powerful and nothing can touch me NOTHING can hurt me._

She remembered the first time that rage had filled her to bursting, made her burn with power. Back on Earth, back on the edges of that desert city. The gang member had slapped Adila, had pointed a gun at her, wanting the drugs they had been trafficking. He had taken Red Sand, which had made him wide eyed and crazed. She had been ten, they both had been. He had pointed the gun at her, and pulled the trigger. Eden wasn’t even supposed to be there, Adila had told her to stay behind, but she had followed. And he had pulled the trigger and something broke in Eden and poured out and wrapped Adila in a shield and Eden TORE that place apart and would have continued to the city, and possibly the rest of the goddamned miserable, fucking Earth if Adila hadn’t grabbed her by the face and made her look at her and made her breathe again. But Eden had never felt more real, more permanent, like a fixed setting in the universe.

She felt it now, as she increased the pressure on the man’s shields, driving him to his knees and making him gasp out. But he was not struggling, not yet. The ground was cracking underneath him. Maybe she should throw him into space. She lifted her hands, pointed them both at him, set the eternity of her biotics, her very will, against him.

His shields began to crack. And then he did something that took her by surprise. He stood back up.

No one had ever stood back up when she had forced them down. How dare he! He was BEATEN, she would CRUSH him.

He was approaching her now, and she felt panic race along her veins. No, no one could touch her, no one could hurt her no one could-

"Eden," he grunted and her will split to allow him into the bubble. He stumbled from the sudden released of pressure against him, stumbled until he was before her and she was staring down at him. She knew him.

"Kaidan," she said and her voice was strangled. She pulled her arms back and she was no longer trying to crush him. "Kaidan, I, I-"

"You’re bleeding, are you alright?" he asked, and reached out, and took her hand. He pulled her back down towards the ground, and when her feet touched they buckled beneath her. The rage was gone. He didn’t even need to touch her to do it. He had just said her name.

He caught her as she crumpled, and lowered her to the ground. “Are you alright?” he asked again, still holding her hand. She could feel her fingers. Dumb with surprise, she nodded.

"We have communications sir," someone behind them said. Eden realized that the room she had ripped into was filled with people. A lot were human. The slaves they had been sent to try to find.

"Give me a minute," Kaidan said, and then turned back to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she said, with a hint of annoyance now, because he had already asked and she had replied. His lips formed a thin line.

"Your face is bleeding, and you are shaking," he said.

"I am going into shock," she replied, because it was true. The mental drain was kicking in now.

"Get me a blanket," Kaidan barked and then there was one being handed to him. He wrapped it around her, tightly, and leaned her back against the wall. "Watch her. I am going to get us in contact with the Normandy. They will pick us up, and bring us all home, so long as nothing, and I mean nothing, happens to her," he said, gesturing sharply at her to a lady and a man who nodded grimly. They flanked her, stood over her.

"I am not a child," Eden snapped, but the effect was ruined by her chattering teeth.

"And feed her something, if you can spare it," Kaidan added, ignoring her. "I will be right back," he said, this time looking at her, and the annoyance that was trying to build back into rage in her head calmed a little. Apparently satisfied, Kaidan left her to try to get in touch with their ship. Eden wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself.

He had just said her name, and she had calmed. Who the fuck was this guy?


	2. One Loose Nut Away From The Loony Bin

Adila rubbed her face then entered the med bay. Kaidan was sitting up on the bed. Good. That was good. She forced her eyes to scan the rest of the room, and was hit with relief when she saw her twin scowling with an intensity that could peel paint on one of the other beds. Chakwas had tied her to the bed. Adila wasn’t even a little surprised. “Alenko,” Adila said, nodding to him. He nodded in return. He looked tired, but otherwise fine.

"What the fuck happened?" Eden demanded.

"That fuc- the salarian, my informant, sold me out," Adila said, barely reigning in her temper. She was captain. She shouldn’t swear in front of her officers. "We’ve already taken care of him."

"How?"

"We all know Garrus is a good shot," Adila said, and went to Eden’s side.

"Get these off me," Eden said.

"Will you promise to stay in bed until Chakwas says so?"

"No."

"Then no," Adila said, though after a minute she sighed and did. Eden didn’t get out of bed. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," Eden said.

"You should have seen her Captain, she tore that place to shreds," Kaidan said, and there was something like awe in his voice.

"Shut up," Eden snapped and crossed her arms over her chest. Adila looked hard between the two of them.

"What happened?"

"Nothing-"

"It was amazing!" Kaidan said. "The level of control, I’ve never seen anything like it." Eden looked at him now, and Adila saw something she rarely saw on her sister’s face. Something, soft, gentle almost. "Those batarians didn’t stand a chance. Where did you train?"

"I didn’t," Eden said, and then looked away from him. She looked at Adila.

"Alenko, could you give us the room? Unless the doctor told you to stay put."

"No, she said I could go, but I was just keeping Eden-Shepard that is, company," he said, getting up. He hesitated by the door. "Feel better Shepard. Eden, that is. Unless you are feeling unwell Shepard, Captain, I-"

"Yes, thank you Kaidan," Eden said. He ducked out. Adila sighed, and leaned against the bed next to the one her twin was on.

"You lost control?"

"A batarian kept slapping me. It was an accident."

"It is always an accident," Adila said, gently. "This isn’t good Eden. This is the second time in five years. You could hav-"

"Yeah but I didn’t alright. I am not going to have my head looked at or anything, so just don’t," Eden said, and made her pillows more comfortable for herself. Adila seemed ready to argue, and then let it go.

"You didn’t kill everyone," she said lamely. "There is that."

"Yeah, there is that," Eden said. "Adila… It was Kaidan. I don’t know what happened okay, but I was ready to kill him. Hell, I didn’t even know who he was, but I was ready to crush him. But he said my name and, I don’t know," Eden said with a shrug, trailing off lamely. Adila pondered her words.

"You like him?"

"I mean I don’t hate him but I don’t really know him," Eden snorted, and settled back against her pillows.

"Would you be against having him in your squad more often?"

"If you say he has to be then-"

"Don’t be like that. Do you think he’d be beneficial to have around you more often?"

"Well… I don’t think it could be detrimental," Eden said. "Just don’t tell him I am, like, one loose nut away from the loony bin. He is actually kind of funny, and not a complete bag of dicks."

"Like, half a bag of dicks?"

"Like, a third a bag of dicks," Eden agreed with a yawn. Adila smiled and straightened.

"I’ll let you sleep. We are going to the Citadel next. There was a single batarian you didn’t kill, and C-Sec wants to chat with him. When we get there, spend some time with Kaidan, get to know him. See if he will be a good fit for your team," Adila said. "Until then, I better not hear anything about you being a pain in the ass to Chakwas, got it?"

"I will follow doctor’s orders," Eden said and flipped her twin off. Adila glanced around, and then did the same. "See ya later you uptight ass."

"Get some sleep brat," Adila said, and left. Kaidan was hanging around outside the door, but not so close that he was ease-dropping or anything. "You can go back in now Alenko."

"Thank you Captain," he said, and did. Adila watched the door close behind him, and smiled a little.


	3. The Start of a Collection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden and Kaidan have a chat over sodas.

Kaidan Alenko sat next to Eden. They were both dangling their feet from the walkway above the shuttle bay. He held out a soda, one he had stashed away for when he really wanted one. She took it. They both popped the caps. “So,” he said, “now that we are on a team for good it seems, are you going to try to kill me again?”

"I didn’t try to kill you," she said, not looking at him.

"I’m not an idiot Shepard. If I wasn’t also pretty adept in biotics, I would be a pancake right now," he said. "You were ready to crush me on that batarian ship… Look, you are an incredible biotic and a better soldier, and I know that people with that kind of power don’t normally have a, hm, pleasant history, but I need to know I’m not going to have to watch my back as well as my front."

"You won’t have to watch your back as well as your front," she said, grumpily, into her can. He nodded and sipped his own.

"Good because I really do want to work with you again," he said and smiled. The smile disarmed the rude remark she had been forming, and she drowned her lack of words with more soda. "What were you doing before you got transferred to us?"

"I was overseeing explorations into uncharted planets," she said.

"Sounds dangerous."

"Dangerous is relative I guess. Not, Reaper dangerous and rouge Spectre dangerous, but not safe work either. I can’t count the number of times we ran into bandits or something tried to eat me," she said, smiling a little.

"Why did you end up on Virmire?" he asked.

"I heard Adila was in the area, and I hadn’t seen her in a while. My commanding officer allowed me to take a shuttle from a neighboring planet, and go visit her. You should be grateful since no one would have been there to grab your sorry ass if I wasn’t there," she said.

"I am sure Wrex would have grabbed me. Not that I am not grateful, I am," Kaidan said.

"Good," she replied and tipped her drink back. Now empty she made it float with her biotics. She clenched her fist, and crushed it. Kaidan watched in slight amusement as it took on what could conceivably the shape of Saren before she made it into a tight little ball of metal. "He was an ass."

"He was an ass," Kaidan agreed. "It’s a good thing you were on the Citadel too."

"Well, someone needs to keep Adila from getting crushed by the weirdest shit in the universe."

"Is that what happened? She said she rolled out of the way."

"Well, she did, but it would have hit her anyways if I wasn’t there," Eden said with a smirk. It faded and she looked down at the shuttles. "You and her… were you a thing or something? You guys seem close."

"Oh, no, no. I mean, I thought for a bit we… Well, nothing happened, and I don’t think it will," he said, and rubbed his neck.

"What, you don’t think she is pretty?" Eden asked, smiling like a cat with a mouse now.

"No it isn’t that. Well, after Virmire, and even more so after Saren she kind of just… distanced herself from the crew a little bit," he said with a shrug. "And besides, we would never work. I think I was a little star struck to be honest." He made his empty can float too, and crushed it into a shape. He stood and held it out to her. She reached up automatically and he dropped whatever it was into her hands. "Anyways, good to know you’re not going to kill me. I’ll see you later."

"See you," she said and watched him walk away before looking down at what he had made. It was a little model of the Normandy.


	4. Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eden and Kaidan have a heart to heart.

"So, you want to talk about shitty past experiences? Have we reached that point?" Kaidan asked, only half joking. They were in hammocks made of giant leaves on the planet Adila had dropped them off at to quell some unrest in the area. They had done it, and the colony had a feast. The Normandy was currently in another location, dealing with a similar problem, so Adila had told them to take the night off, or until they were free to get them. The locals had made the hammocks for them between two trees next to each other when it got late, and they were swinging gently in them in the warm night breeze. They were facing each other, had both drank quite a bit, and the sky spun dizzily, but not unpleasantly, above them.

"You’re drunk," Eden said, laughing, and sipped more beer herself. He smiled in return, and he took another sip as well. They looked up at the stars, and enjoyed the sound of the waves on the nearby beach.

"We have a place like this outside of Vancouver. My parents, that is. There is a lake and an apple orchard though, and it is cold a lot but… okay, not a lot like this, but it had the same feel. I loved going there," he said.

"What happened?"

"I got sent to Jump Zero. Stuff wasn’t much fun after that, for a long time," he said.

"I feel like we are moving into shitty past experience territory here," Eden said.

"Sorry."

They swung in silence for a while, still sipping their drinks. “Tell me,” she said, quietly. And, quietly, he did. Kaidan told her about the deranged turian that trained them, and how he accidentally killed him, thus alienating his childhood friend.

"BAat was sort of disbanded after that, at least, that place was," he said, tapping his bottle against his knee. "And then I joined the Alliance a bit after that. There didn’t really seem like any other option. I mean it was my plan anyways, my parents were…. Anyways," he said, and shrugged. "And that is why I am such a gifted biotic," he said and tipped his beer back. She smiled ruefully in the dark.

"Just one person?"

"What?"

"You killed just one person your first time? No wonder you’re such a weakling," she said, teasing, but there was a dark undercurrent to her words. He didn’t ask. Eventually she told. "When I was seven someone shot Adila, and I ripped several people apart," she said, and ran her thumb along the mouth of her bottle. "Then, a few months after that, I was walking home from school and got jumped. I killed three more people. After that I sort of started avoiding people in general," she said, and shrugged. "But they kept seeking me out. It would be people that wanted to hurt me or Adila, or people that wanted to use me, or people that wanted to send me somewhere. I lost count by the time I was fifteen. If the police ever caught word of it, they didn’t bother. I never killed anyone important. After a while people learned to stay away from the monster," she said, finished her bottle, and let it drop to the ground. Kaidan sat forwards a little.

"Adila mentioned where you two grew up once or twice, even if she never mentioned you specifically. It sounded like hell on Earth," he said.

"It would make sense. That desert got fucking hot in the day. I hated it," she said.

"Then I am sure everyone you killed had it coming to them," he said, gently.

"Oh fuck off Alenko. I don’t need forgiveness or verififi….verif…confirma…proof that what I did was right," she said.

"You called yourself a monster," he said. She scoffed and leaned forwards too.

"Does this look like a face of a saint Alenko?" she asked, gesturing to the scars on her face from the various fire fights she had been in. He looked at her evenly.

"It looks like a face that carried my shot ass off of Virmire," he said. She smiled at that, and then laughed.

"Well, figures. The only person I don’t kill is an idiot," she said. She was going to lean back when his hand caught the back of her head.

"Yeah, I am an idiot," he said and his beer laced breath mingled with hers. He hesitated, and when she didn’t pull away he leaned in the rest of the way. Eden hadn’t been kissed before. She had fucked some guys, and the odd girl once to see what that was about, but she hadn’t kissed anyone really. Her eyes fluttered closed, and her hand found its way to his chest. She grabbed his shirt, and pulled him closer. His mouth tasted like the shitty beer, and a bit like the local meat they had served earlier at the party. His face was rough with stubble, but it was nice, and his lips gave and held in equal measures against hers.

He pulled back, and she was breathless. She kept her eyes closed, letting the feelings linger. “Yeah, an absolute idiot,” she said, softly, and then opened her eyes. He smiled as he leaned back in his hammock.

"Goodnight Shepard."

"Goodnight Alenko," she said, and settled back too. The stars spun pleasantly above her.


	5. Evolution of Eden and Kaidan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A set of shorter drabbles, showing the evolution of Eden and Kaidan after the events of Mass Effect, and prior to Mass Effect 2.

Eden had never had sex like that. Her other times had been rough, frantic, and, compared to this, quick. The aftermath had left both people with scratches down their backs and bites on their necks, and an unspoken agreement of one of them not being there in the morning when the other woke up. The people were picked at random and given names like baby because their actual names were never learned.

This was different.

They had moved slow, had explored each other’s bodies. His touches had been tentative to the point of being painful. He had left a trail of kisses from her throat to her thighs. No corner of her body remained untouched before they even truly started. His hips had rolled slow and he had cupped her face as they went. Even now Kaidan held her, his forehead touched to hers, as they sunk back down from the high of their pleasure. Her fingers had dug into his shoulder blades, and he hadn’t complained. She smoothed her hands across his back now. He kissed her nose. He was smiling.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, breathless. Their ragged breathing mingled in the little space between them. His body was sweaty, and warm against hers. She tightened her legs around his hips. He laughed softly and set whispering kisses on her temple. His thumbs stroked her cheeks.

It was some of the best sex she had ever had.

* * *

 

“We could run away. A ship could easily be lost out here,” Eden whispered into the dark. Kaidan shifted at her side. For a while she didn’t think he heard her because he didn’t answer.

“We can’t just leave the Alliance,” he said finally. She nodded. She knew he would say that. She didn’t know why she had asked. Maybe she just wanted to be alone with him, to have him all to herself in the middle of space with no one around to distract them. “Besides, it is Adila’s ship.”

“I can talk Adila into just about anything. Besides, she never wanted to be in the Alliance.”

“Then why did she join?”

“Because I did.”

“But you want to leave,” he said, laughed a little, and kissed her shoulder. She smiled.

“No, not really. I am just… Angry, I suppose. With the council for letting it get so far with Saren. He was a Spectre, sure, but that shouldn’t mean that he shouldn’t have been watched.”

“Adila isn’t. You aren’t.”

“I keep forgetting I am Spectre,” Eden said into the dark.

“Why’s that?”

“I might not look like it, but I know the rules like the back of my hand Kaidan. I know when I am breaking them. I break them a lot less than people believe. Adila says it is good for me to have rules,” she whispered. “I kill people, a lot, but they always have it coming. I break shit all the time, but not if it belongs to someone who would be broke for losing it.”

“You almost threw that car at a krogan last mission. Is that what you are talking about?”

“Yeah,” she said. There was more. He waited her out, and she explained. “I was going to. I was going to crush him with it, but then I looked over and there was this woman who just crumpled, looking at that car with such a look of loss that I put it back down. She had a kid with her. They both looked more than rough around the edges. She needed that car, and I had a shotgun.”

“You got slammed a few times.”

“I will recover. That could have lost them their home. Hell, that car could have been their home. But Saren would have used that car and he would have shot the mom and the kid. He would have said they gotten in the way. The council were idiots for letting that happen.”

“Saren was being controlled by Sovereign,” Kaidan whispered.

“All the more reason they should have been monitoring him.”

“So then you and Adila should be monitored too?”

“No. Adila would never go rouge and she’d never let me go rouge.”

“What if you got controlled like he did?” Kaidan asked. She liked these discussions with him where he showed her all the little problems with her ideas. It made her ideas better, it made her battle plans better. Maybe she just liked him.

“I wouldn’t. My mind is my own and it always will be.”

“But if you did?”

“Adila would take me out.”

“If Adila was too?”

“You would,” Eden said with a laugh and kissed his cheek. “Mister-Goodie-Two-Shoes…. Wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Kaidan replied.

“You should,” she said, seriously. “I never want to be controlled Kaidan. If I was like Saren, ever, god forbid, then take me out. Got it?”

“…Yeah,” he whispered. She nodded and set her head on his shoulder in the dark of her cabin. “Do you think Saren regretted what he did?”

“Didn’t Adila talk him down?”

“Yeah, he shot himself.”

“Then maybe he did.”

“Maybe there had been a way to save him… If you were ever… Maybe there would be a way to save you,” he said. She thought about it. “You’d let me try, right?”

“Yeah,” she said after some thought. “But if you exhausted all resources, you’d make sure I couldn’t hurt people, right?”

“Right,” Kaidan whispered. Eden nodded and found his mouth in the dark. Their discussion ended there.

* * *

 

If there was one thing Eden liked more than Kaidan’s hands running across her, it was Kaidan’s hands running across his armor. They were getting ready for a drop and she watched as he fitted the various pieces into place, and then hooked clasps and snapped buttons. His fingers found a nick on a shoulder covering and explored it before deciding it was not a risk to the integrity of his armor. He pulled on his boots and clipped the pieces that overlaid along his calf together. Her mouth watered from the deftness of his movements, the surety of his fingers.

He looked up and caught her staring. His smile was slow spreading and lazy. She smiled in return and finished clicking her breastplate into place. His walk towards her was predatory. He looped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, sure that Wrex wouldn’t start talking about the inappropriateness of the action to their superiors. “Maybe later you can help me get back out of this,” he whispered into her ear. She shivered and melted into his hold. She was thinking about how quickly they would be able to clear the base they were destined for of the mercenaries when he kissed her.

“If you keep that up I will be cracking you out of it now,” she whispered against his mouth, and he chuckled lowly.

* * *

 

“Hey,” Kaidan whispered.

“Hey,” Eden whispered back. He climbed into bed, joined her. The bed dipped under his weight. She liked it. She liked his pause before he touched her, never assuming, always asking for permission. He knew when she wanted the bite and the sting. He knew when she wanted soothing and soft. He knew it even when she didn’t know it. Maybe she just liked whatever he gave her.

His mouth dipped down to hers. She liked that too. She liked his taste and the way his stubble left little scratches on her face. She liked his stupid hairdo. She liked the stupid music he listened to, and hummed with, and sung under his breath when he didn’t realize he was doing it.

She liked the way his hands cupped her in all the right ways. She liked the way he pulled her closer and their hips slotted together. She liked the friction between them and the weight of his body on hers. She liked how he always got distracted and would trace his way with soft kissed towards her breasts.

“I love you,” she whispered, without thinking. She was so drunk on him that she didn’t keep her mouth shut like all the times she had before. He froze, and looked up at her. She pulled away and sat up.

“Hey, hey,” he said, and caught her hand. He kissed the inside of her wrist, and smiled and she liked the way he smiled. “I love you too,” he said.

She melted. He always made her melt. She liked that.

* * *

 

“I just…. I just really like your sister,” Kaidan slurred. Adila sighed, pulling him along. He was so, so drunk. She herself was swerving a bit, but she had not consumed nearly as much as he. It was so rare the two of them had time together. He was more like to be with her sister. Sometimes it was easy for Adila to remember they had been friends, good ones, before Virmire fell like a chasm between them. “She is so beautiful, and so strong and she has a good heart even if she has a short temper and I am so drunk, and that thing she does with her mouth that—“

“Okay, I get it, I get it,” Adila said, cutting him off.

“I want to marry her,” Kaidan whispered, stopping short and making Adila stop as well. “Would you give us your blessing?”

“You’ve known her for five months.”

“Would you?” he insisted, and resisted her pulling. Adila gave him a hard look. Beneath the drunkenness there was honest fear. Perhaps he had meant to ask when sober, and couldn’t muster up the nerve.

“…If you wait to propose after you’ve been together for a bit longer, and in a way that one get your asses handed to you because of regs…yeah. I would gladly give you both my blessing,” she said, softly. Kaidan hummed, and hugged her. He pressed a sloppy, drunk kiss to her cheek.

“You are great Commander. You’ll be a great sister-in-law. You should be the flower girl.”

“I think maid of honor would be more appropriate.”

“Yeah, you are probably right. God I am so drunk.”

“You are very, very drunk Alenko,” Adila said, laughing a little as he tripped over his own two feet. She caught him so he didn’t fall, and called them a cab.


	6. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy is attacked, and Joker won't abandon ship.

Adila pulled up short as she reached for the door of the escape pod. “What are you doing? We need to go!” Eden shouted behind her. The Normandy was breaking up all around them.

"Joker," Adila said. Eden cursed more colorfully than Adila had heard in a long time. "I need to get him."

"I’m coming with you," Eden said and Adila didn’t argue. There wasn’t time. They turned and ran towards the cockpit.

"What are you doing?" Adila shouted.

"I can still save her," Joker shouted back and they all rocked as they completely lost the right wing.

"Time to go chuckles," Eden snapped, and pulled him up.

"Ah, my arm!" Joker shouted. Adila pulled the other one across her shoulders, and helped him walk. They got to the nearest pod and Adila lowered him in. She stumbled when Eden shoved her from behind. A shudder rocked the ship and when Adila turned, Eden was not there. She reached for her from where she had been thrown to the other side of the ship. And then there was nothing but red. Adila was thrown back into the escape pod. The door sealed. She struggled to stand and get to the window, to get to her sister.

“Eden,” she screamed and pounded on the window. Eden locked eyes with her and shouted something, but Adila couldn’t hear her. She opened a channel on her comm. “Eden, pleas-“

“I love you Adila,” she said, cutting Adila off. She slammed her hand onto a button on the wall. Adila was pressed to the door from the force of the shuttle ripping itself from the ship. Ripping itself from Eden.

“Eden,” Adila whispered, then, louder, “Eden! EDEN!” The Normandy exploded. “Eden.”

“Shepard has been spaced, I see her here,” Liara said over the comms.

“Adila, or Eden?” someone else asked.

“Eden,” Adila whispered. There was silence for a moment.

“No,” Kaidan whispered. Adila finally spotted her. She covered her mouth. There was a sound of choking over the comms that synchronized with the twitching of Eden’s form. “Oh god,” Kaidan whispered.

“Someone help me,” Eden choked and Adila did too. “My oxygen line has a nick I’m losing air. Can anyone get to me? Please,” Eden said. The strange ship moved into the space where Eden had been. She was out of sight. Adila kept staring.

“We’ve lost sight of you Eden, activate your locator,” Liara said. “…Eden, activate your locator.”

“Adila, please don’t leave me out here,” Eden said, her voice strangled. “Please, don’t let me go alone, Adila.”

“You’re not alone,” Adila said.

“Adila…”

“Eden you’re not alone, I am here. Please. Say something,” Adila cried, and was greeted with choking.

“I’m scared,” Eden choked after a moment of silence.

“Jesus,” Kaidan whispered. Adila sunk to her knees, a hand pressed to her communicator. She listened as Eden continued to choke on the other end.

“Don’t be scared Eden, I am here,” Adila said, over and over, even when the sound of choking stopped. Joker put a hand on her shoulder and she stared at him. He put his arm around her, which was weird because Joker avoided physical contact because it usually didn’t go well for him. “Eden, please, I love you, you’re not alone,” Adila whispered. Joker lifted his other hand and gently placed it over her mouth. He winced as he did. He took her hand away from the communicator and the static on the line fell silent. She stared into his face. He didn’t meet her eyes, but he did hold her.

Adila didn’t speak. She didn’t speak for a long time. Besides, there was nothing she or anyone could say.

—

Kaidan pried the door to the escape pod open. He stood there, staring in, unable to accept what he was seeing. Joker looked back at him, tears on his face. Adila looked past him, unseeing. Eden was not there.

Eden was not there.

"Where… Where is she?" he asked. They said she had gotten spaced but he didn’t believe it. She couldn’t be. She.

There were no other pods. This was the last one they were to open. Joker looked at him. He didn’t need to speak for Kaidan to know where she was. She wasn’t there, that was for sure. “She…She…” Joker shook his head and his shoulders sagged. He winced and cradled one of his arms.

"No, no," Kaidan said, shaking his head. "She was right behind me, and then she went to get you. What. Happened?" Kaidan demanded and grabbed Joker by the front of his shirt. He dragged him out of the pod.

"Ah fuck, my arm, my leg," Joker gasped, grabbing weakly onto Kaidan’s arms with his brittle hands.

"What happened?!" Kaidan shouted, and shook him a little. There was a crack and someone rushed forwards. Wrex held Kaidan back by the arms and Liara helped the gasping Joker to the ground so Chakwas could look at him. Kaidan struggled fiercely against Wrex’s hold, screaming profanities at Joker. Garrus went past them and looked into the pod. He pulled an unresponsive Adila out and tucked her under his arm like he realized she had no idea what was going on.

"That’s enough Kaidan," Chakwas said. They looked at each other, all of them, the broken crew of the Normandy.

"What do we do now?" Tali asked, wringing her hands. Everyone looked at Adila. She just stared back at them with eyes wide against her tear streaked face. Garrus cleared his throat and they turned his attention to him.

"We need to set up camp."

"And an SOS beacon," Wrex added. "Tali, can you do that? Garrus, we can set up camp. That is, if I can let you go Alenko, and trust you not to kill anyone," Wrex said, the most gentle the krogan had ever spoken. Kaidan thought about it for a second then nodded.

"I’m fine," he said. Wrex nodded and let him go. Garrus guided Adila to a sitting position by the pod. Then the three of them set up camp.

Adila came to as they were getting the last tent set up. She got a survival pack from the pod and passed out food rations, then helped Joker over to the fire. She did not speak. She locked eyes with Kaidan at one point only to look away just as quickly, tears pushing at her eyes. He covered his face.

Eden was not there.


	7. The Funeral

They were all there, of course. It was too much to think that they would not be. Adila had not seen them all for a week and a half, but they were there. She wasn’t sure who told them about the service, Anderson probably. Maybe Liara. She wasn’t sure. She didn’t care. So what if they were all here? It meant nothing.

They didn’t even have a fucking body.

Adila sat in the front row staring ahead blankly while the priest, or whatever he was, said some kind words about a woman that he didn’t even know. They talked about how Eden was such a hero and saved so many lives and cared about so many people which was absolute bullshit. Eden cared about very few people. And they all let her down. Adila closed her eyes and shuddered ever so slightly. Anderson looked at her but she didn’t look at him. He was worried, of course, but he didn’t say it. He looked around. “Where is Kad?”

“I couldn’t tell him,” Adila said, remembering with a pang of guilt the phone call she had had with her krogan father three nights ago. He had called her Eden, mistaking her for her twin over the video call. His eyes were bad, and they sounded alike so how could she blame him. But as soon as he had mistaken her she had played along. Eden didn’t have to be dead for everyone. She would have to get better at pretending to be her twin. Kad had thought Eden had had a cold. Not that she could anymore, ever. Adila took another shaky breath. The priest finally shut the hell up and stepped aside. A few people came up and put little offerings on the table in front of Eden’s picture. Adila didn’t move.

“Shepard, I—“

“Don’t Alenko,” Adila said, cutting her sister’s lover off. They had been friends once, hadn’t they? She and Alenko, they had almost been something more. And now she couldn’t even look at him because him standing without Eden somewhere in the vicinity was an abomination to the universe. He rubbed his neck and nodded, moving away without further encouragement. Adila watched with a glassy stare as her crew paid their respects and left. Anderson deterred the few that tried to talk to her. Joker was able to slip passed him while he was keeping Wrex away. He didn’t say anything, but took her hand. She gave a squeeze back, careful not to break his brittle bones. His arm was already broken, and his leg bone badly bruised. He stood and put his hat on the table. He left.

The lights went out one by one. Anderson sat with her the entire time. The priest hung in the shadows, unsure if he should risk asking them to leave so that he could go home or not. Adila was slowly driven to get up by the urge to lose herself in as much alcohol as possible. She stood and went to the table. They had used Eden’s recruitment picture. She was so young, and so happy to be joining the Alliance. Adila picked up the frame and took the picture from it. She folded it in half, then in half again and slid it into her pocket.

“Let me take you home,” Anderson said, holding an arm out to her. She leaned into his side and let him take her out to his car. She’d let him take her home and when he would leave she would go out and get wasted. If he knew how horribly broken she was he might do something to try to fix her. There was no fixing this black hole inside herself. She would just have to be careful not to suck anyone down with her.


End file.
